[I. Reflection]
Cunning, Baffling, Powerful Been beaten to a pulp Vigorous, IrresistableSick and tired and laid low Dominating, Invincible Black-out, loss of control Overwhelming, Unquenchable I'm powerless, have to let go I can't escape it It leaves me frail and worn Can no longer take it Senses tattered and torn Hopeless surrender Obsession's got me beat Losing the will to live Admitting complete defeat Fatal Descent Spinning around I've gone too far To turn back round Desperate attempt Stop the progression At any length Lift this obsession Crawling to my glass prison A place where no one knows My secret lonely world begins So much safer here A place where I can go To forget about my daily sins Life here in my glass prison A place I once called home Fall in nocturnal bliss again Chasing a long lost friend I no longer can control Just waiting for this hopelessness to end
[II. Restoration]
Run, fast from the wreckage of the past A shattered glass prison wall behind me Fight, past walking through the ashes A distant oasis before me Cry, desperate crawling on my knees Begging God to please stop the insanity Help me - I'm trying to believe Stop wallowing in my own self pity "We've been waiting for you my friend The writing's been on the wall All it takes is a little faith You know you're the same as us all" Help me, I can't break out this prison all alone Save me, I'm drowning and I'm hopeless on my own Heal me, I can't restore my sanity alone Enter the door Desperate Fighting no more Help me restore To my sanity At this temple of hope I need to learn Teach me how Sorrow to burn Help me return To humanity I'll be fearless and thorough To enter this temple of hope Believe Transcend the pain Living the life Humility Opened my eyes This new odyssey Of rigorous honesty Serenity I never knew Soundness of mind Helped me to find Courage to change All the things that I can "We'll help you perform this miracle But you must set your past free You dug the hole, but you can't bury your sole Open your mind and you'll see" Help me, I can't break out this prison all alone Save me I'm drowning and I'm hopeless on my own Heal me, I can't restore my sanity alone
[III. Revelation]
Way off in the distance I saw a door I tried to open I tried forcing with all of my will and still The door wouldn't open Unable to trust in my faith I turned and walked away I looked around, felt a chill in the air Took my will and turned it over The glass prison which once held me is now gone A long lost fortress Armed only with liberty And the key of my willingness Fell down on my knees and prayed "Thy will be done" I turned around, saw a light shining through The door was wide open
[IV. Reflections Of Reality]
Hello, Mirror, so glad to see you my friend, it's been a while Searching, Fearless, where do I begin to heal this wound of self-denial Face yourself man! Brace yourself and trace your hell back You've been blinded, living lie a one way cold existence all the while Now it's time to stare the problem right between the eyes you long lost child I wanna feel your body breaking Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold I want to heal your conscience making a change o fix this dying soul Born into this world a broken home Surrounded by love yet all alone Forced into a life that's split in two A mother and a father both pulling you Then you had to deal with loss and death Everybody thinking they know best Coping with this shit at such an age Can only fill a kid with pain and rage Family disease pumped through your blood Never had the chance you thought you could Running all the while with no escape Turning all that pain in to blame and hate Living on your own by twenty one Not a single care and having fun Consuming all the life in front of you Burning out the fuse and smoking the residue Possessive obsessions selfish childish games Vengeful resentments Passing all the blame Living out a life of decadence Acing without thought of consequence Spreading all your lies from coast to coast While spitting on the ones that matter most Running power mad with no control Fighting for the credit they once stole No one can ever tell you what to do Ruling other's lives while the can't stand the thought of you A living reflection seen from miles away A hopeless affliction having run astray I wanna feel your body breaking Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold I want to heal your conscience making a change o fix this dying soul Now that you can see all you have done It's time to take that step into the kingdom All your sins will only make you strong And help you break right through the prison wall
[V. Release]
Come to me my friend I'll help this torture end Let your ego go You can't go through this alone You'll find your peace of mind You can no longer hide Let humility And become what you can be Help me Save me Heal me I can't break out of this prison all alone These tormenting ghosts of yesterday Will vanish when exposed You can't hold onto your secrets They'll only send you back alone Your fearless admissions Will help expel your destructive obsessions With my help I know you can Be at one with God and man Hear me Believe me Take me I'm ready to break right through this prison wall
[VI. Ready]
Proud enough for you to call me arrogant Greedy enough to be labeled a thief Angry enough for me to go and hurt a man Cruel enough for me to feel no grief Never could have just a part of it I always need more to get by Getting right down to the heart of it The root of all evil has been running my whole life Dirty enough for me to lust Leaving nothing left to trust Jealous enough to still feel envious Lazy enough to sleep all day And let my life just waste away Selfish enough to make you wait for me Driven blindly by our sins Misled so easily Entirely ready to leave it behind I'm begging to break free Take all of me The desires that keep burning deep inside Cast them all away And help to give me strength to face another day I am ready Help me be what I can be
[VII. Remove]
Self-centered fear has got a hold of me Clutching my throat Self righteous anger running all through me Ready to explode Procrastination paralyzing me Wanting me dead These obsessions that keep haunting me Won't leave my head Help to do for me what I can't do myself Take this fear and pain I can't break out this prison all alone Help me break these chains Humility now my only hope Won't you take all of me Heal this dying soul I can feel my body breaking I can feel my body breaking I'm ready to let it all go I can feel my body shaking Right down to the foundation The root of it all Take all of me The desires that keep burning deep inside Cast it all away And help to give me strength to face another day I am ready Help me what I can be I am ready Come to me Take me away
[VIII. Regret]
Hello, mirror, so glad to see you my friend It's been a while... Staring at the empty page before me All the years of wreckage running through my head Patterns of my life I thought adorned me Revealing hurtful shame and deep lament Overwhelming sorrow now absorbs me As the pen begins to trace my darkest past Signs throughout my life that should have warned me Of all the wrongs I've done for which I must repent I once thought it better to regret Things that I have done than haven't Sometimes you've got to be wrong And learn the hard way And sometimes you've got to be strong When you think it's too late Staring at the finished page before me All the damage now so clear and evident Thinking about the dreaded task in store for me A pit of fear at the thought of my amends Hoping that this step will help restore me To face my past and ask for forgiveness Cleaning up my dirty side of this unswept street Could this be the beginning of the end? I once thought it better to regret Things that I have done than haven't Sometimes you've got to be wrong And learn the hard way And just when you're through hanging on You're saved
[IX. Restitution]
"Until that moment, I'd never felt like I'd failed at anything...And I felt like I failed her...And I failed myself, and I failed my children...It's still really hard to deal with." "I want to thank you for helping me to see my own selfishness and to tell you how regretful I am it has hurt you." "I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital, Grandpa when you were on your deathbed. I'm sorry I didn't come to your funeral...I don't know if I was selfish or just too scared to face it. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life." "I'm here to confess with you that what I did, was wrong... And I'm asking for your forgiveness..." "The only unforgivable thing hauls itself out of bed, looks over my shoulder at the bloody English weather..." "I really regret not being able to see my friend Andy..." "One of my best friends who's the godfather of my daughter, he asked me to sing or play something at his wedding, and I turned it down because I was busy and too much of a chicken shit to do it...And I feel sorry for that, because it was a very very close friend of mine..." "So, I wanted to apologize to anyone that I've upset or offended.. they're just words, it's just an opinion, but unfortunately, I tend to express it as a fact, and that's kind of arrogant. Isn't it?" "I think it's the betrayal...it still haunts me." "I'm sorry for what I did back then... I was a different person. I really was and I'm so sorry. I wish it wouldn't have happened, but it did, and I'm sorry. Forgive me. I'm sorry..." "I guess I'm simply sorry for being me and not you. I so often wish you could be here with me to show me the way..." If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."You're only as sick as your secrets, but the truth shall set you free...""The truth is the truth and the only thing you can do is to live with it."
[X. Restraint]
Freedom calls my name, Serenity keeps me sane, Happiness it dulls the pain, Honest to see my place, Open to other ways, Willingness to understand, Justice but do not judge, Courtesy for others' flaws, Kindness it's not that hard, Self-restraint of tongue and pen, Inventory my daily friend, Analysis let down your guard, Look in the mirror, What do you see?, The shattered fortress, That once bound me, Fateful ascent, through darkests fires, I've found the path to take me higher, You're smart enough for me to trust go live your life now, Just keep these steps in your life and you'll know how, If you're not sure, ask yourself, "Have I done to them as I would have them do to me?", Look in the mirror, What's that you see?, The shattered fortress, Fly now be free, Fateful ascent, through darkest fires, I've found the path to take me higher, I once thought it better to be right, But now I have finally seen the light, Sometimes you've got to be wrong, And learn from mistakes, I live with serenity now, Not self-righteous hate
[XI. Receive]
Now that you can see all you have done, It's time to take that step into the kingdom, All your sins will help to make you strong, And help you break right through the prison wall, Keep all of me, The desires that once burned me deep inside, Help me live today, And help to give me grace, To carry out your ways, I am ready, help me be all I can be, I am ready, help guide me and keep me free
[XII. Responsible]
I am responsible when anyone, anywhere, Reaches out for help, I want my hand to be there.
The Alcoholics Anonymous.
Dedicated to Bill W. and all of his friends
En construction.